2 weeks since entering the hospital

Today is two weeks since our plans were well shaken. Laura's mom quoted proverbs 16:9 to me on the way to the hospital two nights ago. Great reminder that we need to make plans but God will ultimately guide our steps and may take us on a different path than we thought we were on. 

Aspen is still in the nicu and our hopes of possibly going home this weekend were not fulfilled. But we know she is still in great hands! She is back on oxygen but we were assured this morning by the doc that the oxygen is pretty much a norm with nicu babies in colorado and when we get to illinois she will almost certainly be off the oxygen. 

Our biggest prayer request right now is that Aspen starts eating consistently on her own without a need for the feeding tube! 

And thank you again to so many who continue to bring us meals, snacks, and offers of help. Be forewarned we may likely start tapping into some of you for childcare help this next week. 😄

Couple great Rockies fans!

The other kids still get to have fun. Treasure hunt with grandma. 

35 weeks gestation today

So, I was reminded today that Aspen is only 35 weeks when the nurse decided it was best to reinsert a feeding tube. Aspen was spending too much energy eating and not getting enough milk, even though she is gaining weight. I was super disappointed and emotional (I know...you're surprised...slight amounts of stress, postpartum hormones, exhaustion, and...???).  This all makes sense to me logically, but my mama heart has a harder time with it. Modern medicine is a blessing- right?! The good news is that it takes the stress out of feedings. Bad news is she will most likely not be coming as soon as they thought yesterday.  We knew figured roller coaster was coming. And I learned to leave the room when they insert it...that was painful to watch.  

I am thankful for these sweet pics I snapped before the nurse put the tube back in:

See, she does have eyes!

In related news, we did the mom swap and now have mom Lanser on duty. Things are immeasurably easier having a grandma around to help through all of this rigmarole.

And tomorrow is Air Force Academy graduation so hopefully we will get to watch the air show!

We are thankful that He is our strength when we are weak!

Good night!

Laura

More Hope

I really feel like Aspen has such an appropriate middle name: Hope. The Lord has blessed us with such amazing hope for this little treasure!

Aspen continues to make great progress:

-She nursed really well this morning- 10 minutes and then we cut her off.

-She ripped out her feeding tube and they didn't put another one in. We pray she will get enough milk on her own that we won't have to put it back in. Today was just ok with her volumes.

-She isn't getting any more caffeine dosages to prevent the apnea (I am secretly wondering if I should put myself on a 2 latte a day diet...the sacrifices we make for our children) and so far has been apnea-free.

-The NP rumored that Aspen might be ready to come home this weekend. Time will tell. Yikes! Super exciting and scary at the same time. No idea what this means for our move timeline...one day at a time.

-Aspen passed her hearing test

-Dad is the best at getting Aspen to take her whole bottle (guess who told me to write that?)

Mom Sharda survived her week-long shift with the kids and United Airlines decided she needed to stay one more night. We are more than grateful for you help mom. Mom Lanser flies in tonight for her week-long shift. The consistency with kiddos has been soooo helpful.

Sorry if I am denying your visits or not returning your calls/messages.  Don't take it personally. It is just better to implode into our family a bit in this phase. I like to enjoy Aspen when I have time with her at the hospital! And I like time with the big kids when I'm not there. I do look forward to sharing her with you all eventually.

Thanks so much for the continued encouragement and prayers! Truly it is taking a village to bring Aspen Hope home. 

I think she needs a hair bow to go with the mohawk... :)

Moving

Well we moved yesterday to our third home in 6 weeks. Thanks a ton Mark and Michele for opening your home to us! But what's more exciting is that Aspen moved today. We got a call from nicu this afternoon that Aspen was being moved from the main area to the "annex." We are told this is a great thing. It is an area for the "feeders and growers." So her primary goal here is to learn to eat on her own and keep getting that body weight up. They still monitor oxygen, heart rate, etc. but she has shown that she can also breathe sufficiently on her own and her body is maintaining good temperature. 

So much to be thankful for! Praising God and thanking Him for protecting her and helping her grow strong! As we were reminded during one of the songs at church today we are each wonderfully made and designed by Him! For those standing in prayer thank you so much. Please be praying that this progress and improvement continues!

 

Saturday- simply Sharda style

What a difference a week can make. Last week we were at the park and my water broke. This Saturday we move to a new temporary home and get some snuggles from the NICU.

Simply Shardas Summary:

-we are in our new living spot. So thankful for this couple willing to open their home to us. It will be great. Only about 5 minutes from the hospital.

-Aspen had graduated to a regular crib...regulating her own temp

-Yesterday Aspen was under lights for jaundice but is back off those today

-She continues to eat more every day, trying to get ahead on her weight. She is right at birth weight today.

-She is very sleepy today and isn't so interested in working for food, but has tried nursing many times and likes to try. She continues to do bottles well when she isn't super tired.

Big girl bed!  Look mom, no lights!

Grandma holding and feeding her for the first time

I get a lot of people asking me about timing and how long Aspen will be in the hospital. We have no idea still. Doctors and nurses are extremely encouraged, but aren't giving any timelines. Honestly, I am not in any hurry. As challenging as this is running back and forth to the hospital, Aspen is super fragile and I LOVE the monitors. I love it that something beeps when her oxygen rate is low (fairly common while she eats). I love it that someone is listening for these beeps all day. I love it that she is in the care of incredible hospital staff that talk to her like she is their own.  At this point it is really intimidating to think of taking this sweet little girl home. But when she is ready, I am sure we will be ready.

So, we continue to take each day at a time, and enjoy the progress she continues to make.  

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Day 3 Aspen Hope

This was the pleasant surprise we came into this morning. A beautiful sight- no IV or oxygen. She is impressing us with leaps and bounds.

A few highlights:

-yesterday Aspen regulated her own temp a good chunk of the day.

-digestive system seems to be doing very well. Since she is tolerating milk well they continue to bump up her volumes and we will get her bulked up! That is why the IV is out as well.

-we did some nursing snuggling so she will be comfortable with that

-my milk is in!

-I only had two emotional break downs leaving my baby at the hospital. Most of the time I can logically remember Aspen is in the best place!

-She has high bilirubin levels and will likely go under some lights later, but all of our kids were jaundiced (thank you Colorado) so I'm not concerned.

That's all I can think of for now. SO MUCH to be grateful for. I am guessing things won't be all roses and we will have some bumps in the road in the coming weeks but for now we are really thankful for progress in the right direction. 

It was a treat to be home to have dinner and Coldstone ice cream cake for Caleb's birthday last night!

Specifically, will you please join us in praying for these details?

-Kinley's adjustment to all of these changes. She is a whipper snapper by nature and this mama-being-gone thing is a challenge for her.

-Aspen's transition to nursing (and my heart in being patient)

-Packing/moving out of our current rental into the next temporary spot.

Thanks a ton for joining us on this journey!

And here's your reward for making it all the way to the bottom of the post...my NICU view at this moment:

Another day with sweet Aspen

We get to hold our dear girl now sometimes. What a joy! I took a couple of the feeding/snuggle sessions, then Jeff got to hold her this morning. Oh, that has done my heart so much good! She loves it too: heart rate drops, and she falls asleep. Aspen loves her pacifier when she's in the basket but has no desire for it when she's in our arms.

Here are a couple from my snuggle session last night:

She is precious!

We continue to get positive updates from the doctor and nurses in the NICU. We are encouraged.

Aspen has handled her feedings very well. Her stomach seems to be liking the milk, which is fantastic news. Now we wait for a poop (oh the things I never thought I would tell the world.) We have done some of the feedings with a bottle nipple (rather than the feeding tube) and she seems to be getting a grip of the coordination between sucking, swelling, and breathing. That's hard work! 

In related news, today is Caleb's birthday. We get to celebrate this crazy cat and are especially praising God for him today!

Big kids are in fabulous hands with grandma Sharda and loving it. Kinley is missing mama but hanging in there. 

We are really thankful for Jeff's work and his ability to be flexible with the move and his schedule. They have been so good to us! Hats off to Capin Crouse.

I will be discharged from the hospital today so we enter a new phase of visiting the NICU. My mama heart is wrestling with leaving our baby here at the hospital when I am discharged but we know she is in great hands and will be home before we know it. God comforted me with some fabulous scriptures this morning.

We continue to appreciate everyone's help and visits. For those of you offering to bring meals here is a link to the meal train Becky has set up. Thanks so much!

https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/dlw7n3

Blessings to you all,

Laura

Aspen Hope day 1

We have been getting lots of requests for updates on Aspen's status. And of course some pictures! Sorry we still don't have any really great pictures of her but there will be plenty of days for that. She has long fingers and feet! ☺️

The big kids came in to visit today in their reactions were all true to character. Caleb was calmly excited; Brooklyn was collectively processing; Kinley was joyously in love with her new sister!

The nurse said Aspen is doing "really well". We have no frame of reference for this sort of thing so we trust her and are grateful. They are telling us to plan on being released around her due date July  1, but feel like they give this date as a precautionary and most get out sooner. We shall see! As far as we can tell the goals for Aspen at this point are growth and development: she needs to put on some pounds and develop-specifically with breathing feeding and temperature regulation. So I assume those are the three things we will keep getting updates on as this blog progresses. 

Today...

Breathing: it seems like she is doing surprisingly well with her lung development. A couple of times she has forgotten to breathe but that is typical for her development and they keep a close eye on the monitors to make sure that she is progressing as needed. She was on a CPAP machine last night but was able to get off at today and is only on oxygen now. Overall really encouraged in this area.

Feeding: hopefully she will get her at first feeding through a feeding tube today and we will let you know how that goes later. At this point I am pumping and giving her as much milk of my own as we can. I didn't realize milk production is affected by gestation, but that is a prayer request as well.

Temperature regulation: as far as I can tell this area won't even be tested until she puts on more pounds. So she is under warmer and stay nice and cozy for now and when she gets a little bit bigger we'll see how she does!

Thanks for the interest, concern and prayers!

Laura

Rejoicing and Gratitude

Wow. God is good. We have so much to be thankful for. A beautiful little one joining our family tonight. While all childbirths are a definite miracle, this one has resonated more clearly for me as we saw God's clear hand of protection over Aspen and over Laura. So, we rejoice and celebrate in His favor.

And, gratitude extended to so many who reached out and helped in so many ways, from transporting kids and parents, to bringing meals, to watching kids and dogs, to calling, to visits, to offers of housing, to photography, to flying out to Colorado, to being willing to rescue our stuff when it arrives in Illinois, to so many prayers that brought such incredible peace and Hope! Thank you each for your love and for showing it in so many practical ways to our family through this.

Later still Monday

Aspen Hope has arrived! 4lbs 11oz and whisked off to the NICU...but looking as good as can be expected so far! And I am now a proponent of epidurals! We will get some pictures posted hopefully soon...she is being checked out and hooked to lots of contraptions. Praising the Lord for a little miracle at 8:25 tonight.

End of Day Monday

I will give a quick shout out to Armstrong Transportation Services if you are ever moving from Colorado Springs. That is the company Laura mentioned previously. So far, they have been great, and showed favor this morning in being flexible with the timing of moving our stuff.

On a different note, Laura was moved to a delivery room about an hour ago. Contractions have become quite painful, so it seems we may be nearing delivery time (though always hard to tell). Just wanted to let all know to be praying for a safe delivery and healthy baby girl! We really appreciate these prayers and know that they are being answered as we have both had an incredible sense of peace through these emotional days.

Still pregnant

So we made it through another day without baby girl's arrival. This is a praise! Every day she can stay in, hopefully she's getting a little stronger to be able to face all of you! The hospital staff is phenomenal and I'm not bored yet. I haven't even broke out the knitting needles yet!

From a physiological standpoint I feel great. It seems like my uterus likes to contract about five in the morning and does some crazy things around then but seems to calm down after a couple of hours so it looks like we have another day of rest ahead.

We continue to be really grateful for all of the support and offers for help. Jeff's mom flies in today so that will provide some stability for Caleb, Brooklyn and Kinley for which we are grateful. Jeff has been an awesome Mr. mom and is back to work today!

A few logistical details have worked out in the past 24 hours as well. We have a basement of a friend lined up to live in until July that should work real well close to the hospital for NICU visits. And also the moving company has agreed to hold our things indefinitely until we are ready to move. Woo hoo!

We are specifically praying for God's perfect timing, a miracle baby, and resilience for the kids. Often I don't know what to pray for but rest in the fact that the Spirit is interceding for me and has a perfect plan. (Romans8:24-26)

Throughout the whole decision-making process of moving to Chicago or not until now my theme song has been this one (the song is great the slides a little cheesy...sorry- close your eyes): http://youtu.be/CR5IoWH9OiI He continues to give us wisdom and He reigns!

All for now...Laura

Favor Day 2

God showed Himself faithful again today. Contractions calmed down and baby looks healthy. Praying my incredible wife stays sane amidst being stuck in bed. Really appreciate so many friends and family members reaching out with offers of help: from food, to lodging, to childcare, to helping move things, to helping unload things in Wheaton. Thanks to all of you for showing your love in so many ways!

We continue to appreciate prayers that this little one keeps cooking a bit longer and that when she is born, she is fully healthy and strong!

Change of plans

I vowed to never be a blogger. I don't have much to tell the world.  Never vow anything.

Yesterday my water broke...at the park...with friends...during our going away picnic.  I was 33 was and 3 days, so this was quite a surprise.  The good news was that I got to enjoy some time with friends and get my haircut in the morning!  When I got to the hospital they said I was not leaving until the baby was born. What!!?  So, here's we are at Penrose St. Francis until we become Shardas six. 

We had planned to pack up and move to Chicago on Thursday or Friday of this week.  We are currently living in temporary housing and need to be out by Friday.

But sheesh, do we have a lot to be thankful for.  I am thankful this didn't happen somewhere in Nebraska on our drive.  I am thankful for incredible community that have loved on our kiddos and care like crazy.  So many offers of housing, food, childcare...stinkin' blessed!

Baby girl looks healthy as can be. As long as she and I both stay stable they hope to keep me pregnant.  If labor does begin, they won't stop it.  Most likely they will induce in the next week if I don't go into labor on my own.  Nice to know there is an end in sight.  I suck at this 'bed rest with bathroom priviledges' thing. But I also know the longer she can keep cookin' the better.  Realistically we will be here visiting the NICU for a while.

We aren't sure about how long the move will get pushed back at this point. Lots of logistics to figure out.

Overall we are grateful for an incredible peace and trusting in God's perfect plan.

The view from this room is incredible!